So I've decided that I'm going to get into cake decorating. I made one yesterday, made my own fondant and everything! it turned out really cute. I'll post pics once I get them off of Dillon's camera.
It's a lot of fun.. and quite a bit of work. But I want to make more cakes to get practice.

So if anybody wants a fancy cake made and you'd be willing to cover cost of ingredients and such, I'll totally make a cake!

( If you don't know what fondant is... )

That's about it for today =)

Dillon and I are flying out to LA Tuesday morning, and staying until the following Tuesday. I'm SOOOOO excited. I've been trying to plan this trip since I moved back to Lincoln haha.

Not entirely sure what all we're going to do. Mostly visiting friends of mine and sightseeing (for him since he's never been there)... Perhaps walking around and going to all the little shops I never got to while I was living there. There's this one Pirate-y store south of Vineland and Magnolia that I always wanted to check out... definitely taking a look there haha.

Might try to go to Das Bunker Friday night. Also going to try to get a photoshoot in maybe with the same guy who did my ragdoll photoshoot =)

Probably going to crash with Greg a night or two, and then Jorge for a night or two... trying to get ahold of Mari to ask about staying over. Almost had a crashing spot at David's but apparently there's some sort of "complication" and that's not going to work out? haha I have no idea. I think it might end up being a night-by-night sort of basis on knowing where we're sleeping. That's okay with me, it should be exciting =)

I'm very much pumped to be out in 70s-ish desert weather again. Warm sun, dry winds, palm trees. Everything I've been missing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My tattoo is more than half done, I believe. Had another color session Tuesday. Justin filled in the rose, fire, sleeves, and some more bones. It looks SO good. The batteries in my camera are totally dead right now, so I need to go pick up some rechargeable ones. For tattoo pics and my trip.
I've now had 4 sessions, and about 5.5 hours of work done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rocky Horror is coming along swimmingly, I have most of the makeup designs done. I'm really excited about this whole thing and I hope I hope I hope everyone ends up looking fabulous =)
I accidentally got roped into doing makeup for Beauty and the Beast at Haymarket theatre... I tried to back down today but the director flipped shit and told me it was too late of notice, so I'm still stuck doing that which I'm bummed about, but meh I'll get over it.
But Rocky! Yes Rocky will be fun!


Anyway... trying to find a place in Omaha to crash at Monday night before our flight.... hmmmm I'm working on it haha. I might give in and let Dillon find a place from couch surfers. =p


Huzzah!

Good night, kitty.

( Sep 2, 1998 -- Jan 24 2009 )

Oh goodness... Picture heavy!

( Oscar nominations for makeup )


and THAT's why I think Hellboy II should get the Oscar. =D

Hey so my phone was disconnected last night.

...I guess that's it. Thought I'd let people know hah.

( You don't really have to read this. )

Good times.

Last night sucked. I was so upset that I ended up doing something I haven't done for over 6 years. Ugh, I'm pretty disgusted with myself.

but I've realized that I need a major change of perspective.

I find it awkward when a 17 year old iraqi kid stops you walking down the sidewalk and asks you if you have a boyfriend. hm.

Well, I voted today. We'll see how it goes...
I'm excited, but scared to death at the same time. eeeeeeeeee!

I'm almost all moved into the new place, which is just upstairs from the one I was just in haha.

Also, Julianna, Dustan, and Larissa, I need you guys to sign releases for being at that party scene a while back haha. I'll bring them tonight. =)


In other news, I have some sort of pulled muscle in my upper back/shoulder. If i'm laying down, it hurts to try to sit up, and I can't roll to my left. ugghh. Sometimes it hurts to inhale deeply. Dillon keeps trying to convince me to go to a doctor, but I dunno. If it's just a pulled muscle, I have a feeling they would just tell me to take an anti-inflammatory (aka aspirin) and maybe put an ice pack on it. sooooo yeah. ouchie. =(

Phyllis at Fringe and Tassel has already called me asking me to come back tomorrow because Ward has been sick I guess. So yay she still needs me! For a while at least, haha. I'll definitely need a second part time job though. I'm still considering Holy Land on O Street. It might be a little difficult to find a decent job with my hair though... maybe. Meh.

I've been beyond exhausted lately. I think it was the stress of the week of Halloween at F&T, plus the movie, and now moving AGAIN. This is the fourth time I've moved since last september. JESUS. Oh well. I'm in a much better position living on my own than I was at the other apartment, emotionally and otherwise. I don't think I could handle the stress of everything that is going on now if I were still at that place. So yay!

Halloween was cool. Not sure if i posted about that yet. Probably not. I was Vegas Medusa. Went to the Q. Good times. Didn't get far at all in the costume contest, but I'll get over it. =p


If you haven't checked it out yet, here's links to stuff for the movie I'm working on:
wakethewitchmovie.com
myspace page
production photos
Thanks. =D

~rose

Friggin BUSY.

i'm on break at work right now. Been shooting the horror movie on the weekends and working during the week so that's cool.

almost had a makeup job with the unl opera dept doing midsummer nights dream, but it was for makeup and wigs, and i have no experience with wigs so they went with Rachel Ray.
Boo.

might go to omaha zoo saturday since they don't need me for filming that day. should be fun.

anyway.

short update. kind of uninteresting =p

~rose

Projects I have going on now, and coming up in the near future:

Wake The Witch, beginning filming September 6/7. I'm currently buying materials and doing makeup tests. I'm IN CHARGE of makeup for this film, which is a first so it's a big job.

Greg Hadwick and Cullen Wright's upcoming feature "Veronica" which could possibly star Bill Pullman and Nathan Fillion. Paul Pearson and myself would be in charge of makeup for that... sooo HOLY SHIT, that's a huuuuge project. jesus. They want to hopefully have it filmed by the end of the year. By the way, they're filming in Lincoln. Yep.

In February, LCP is doing Rocky Horror, which Paul Pearson is directing, and he wants me to design the makeup. It plays in April. That's going to be enormous as well.


It's so strange, I've been back for a year and nothing has happened, and all of a sudden i get all these makeup jobs flying at me out of nowhere! It's great and I love it, but jeeeesus this is crazy.

Anyway, bought a bunch of makeup stuff today. I have a $350 preliminary budget. I'm pretty sure I can do it with that.

Going to go get ice cream. ^_^

Here they were at one week:




And here they are at 7 months:

( Picture heavy for your viewing pleasure! )

I love my hair. I love it more and more every day. And I'm not even to a year yet! What fun. =)


In other news, I'm moved into my new place and I really love it. I'm at 18th & M in a brick building that says "Yellowstone" across the top. It's a really old building and the apartment has so much character. Actually, I'm really just staying in a small studio for about a month until they finish fixing up the larger studio that I'm actually going to be living in haha.

Anyway.
More later maybe.
I don't have internet at my place so I probably wont be online much. Also, I'm going to start being really busy with the movie I've started helping with.

So anywho, just thought I'd let people know that I haven't completely fallen off the face of the earth haha.

Yay so I'm 20 now. Exciting eh?

Had a pretty decent day. Got YiaYia's with Dillon, then I went to my parents and had dinner.. my mummy made me a batman logo cake. which was SO awesome. heh.
Then went to the dark knight.
Wow is really all I think I'm able to say right now about it. I just feel really personally connected to this movie, even if I had very very little to do with it, I still feel like I played a small part in creating it.
I felt kind of sad after seeing it... and there were these stupid people behind us who were just saying all this shit that was pissing me off...things about heath ledger that were just really insensitive. People can be so cruel when they don't know what they're talking about.

Anyway.

I still need a fucking apartment. There are too many things up in the air right now for how emotionally unstable I am currently. It's unhealthy.

But I am starting thursday at Lamar's donuts. I'm on the overnight crew. I get to make the donuts yayyyyyy. So that's fun I guess.


I'm lonely, anyone want to fix that?

Saw my psychiatrist yesterday. She's starting me on new meds... called "Pristiq". Which is basically the already-metabolized version of Effexor (what i'm on now)... we're going to see how that goes, and she also suggested i call and make an appointment at the bryanLGH counseling center too. And then I'm going back to see her on the 31st.
*sigh*
I guess we'll see.

In other news, I painted a picture of an eggplant today for my mama (to match the chili peppers i painted for her last year). She really liked it.
Also, went to Wall-E. i thought it was adorable. Dillon didn't like it haha. that's okay.

AND
bought my tickets for Dark Night next friday night (the 18th if you didn't know) at 9:45p at the grand. It'll be my birthday. anyone care to join me? =)

So I kind of had a huge emotional breakdown today. Like... I couldn't stop crying and shaking..and Dillon didn't really know what to do, so I called my mom and she came and picked me up, took me home.
I got a good venting out to her, it helped some I think.
But I really need to get a hold on this mental illness shit. It's awful. I have all this anger inside all the time, and when it decides to show itself (something I don't have much control over), people get hurt. I don't like it. However, it does have a knack of showing certain people's true colors in how they deal with me. hm. probably for the best maybe.

Anyway.

We'll see where I go from here.

What an awesome night. I don't think I've had that much fun or laughed that hard in weeks.

Thanks Chad and Ryssa for having everybody out. =)

I now officially have a dreadhawk.
I love it.
tuesday night I felt like I was needing some sort of major change. I almost combed my dreads out entirely. But I didn't have a comb with me. Sooooo I decided to grab a pair of scissors and chop away instead. Holy crap that was a lot of hair.
I friggin love my hair now. I will post pictures eventually mebbe.


In other news, I'm starting a search for my birth mother. I contacted the Nebraska Children's Home and started talking to a case worker who is helping me out. It's something I've needed to do for a really long time, and I think now it would benefit me more than ever. I feel like it would be a positive step forward and would maybe help me fill the void I've been feeling in my life.

Also, I might go see my dr/psychiatrist... My next appointment isn't until october, but since I've been having so much emotional trouble for the past few months, I think it would *probably* be a good idea to go. My parents have been really worried about me lately and we've had our fair share of arguments and and heated discussions which have ended up with me storming out of the house and not talking to them for days.

I'm not going to lie, I need help. It started out as stress and frustration with school, then not being happy living in lincoln, then I developed this mild depression and I turned passive aggressive towards my roommates, which just made living conditions even worse. I cry a lot. I've been pushing away a lot of my friends (which has resulted in me maybe having lost two friendships that had been really important to me).

The only person I really hang out with anymore is Dillon. I know a lot of you don't like him for whatever reason. That's fine. But he's really important to me and is currently my closest friend. Feel what you want, say what you like.

I'm just feeling so unstable. everything seems to be crumbling at the edges. I haven't been able to have a decent conversation with my parents lately because my mom just turns everything around to me "not feeling well", and I don't feel like I can go to my apartment because I know I'm not wanted there. Thank god for dillon's mom. She's been so wonderful to me. I don't even know if she knows the situation at hand. Probably not. She's a sweetheart anyway.

In a nutshell, I'm at the point where I realize I need some sort of help. I'm in a rut I can't seem to get out of and I just keep falling more and more.

I just really hope I haven't ostracized myself too much from most of you. If I have, I apologize. I just need to be forced out of isolation. I need something healthy. I need an encouraging social environment.

End vent.
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